i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
