dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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