last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
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He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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