I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize