I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize