I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
