alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
