He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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