so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
