Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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