Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize