3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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