OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
