3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
two words...techno handjob
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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