VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
