i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
