I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
