I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
