Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
