Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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