I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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