Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
