Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
