lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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