I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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