It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
