there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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