Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
