What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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