We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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