If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
