Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
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Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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