pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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