Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
3 2 1 whiskey
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
