im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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