"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you win again, gameday.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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