Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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