Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dick very happy bro
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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