You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
