I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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