do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
