4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
