chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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