check it out our google latitudes are spooning
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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