So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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