i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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