Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
A+ Viking dick
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