How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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