Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
