I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
