I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize