Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
