And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
