His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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