smell my finger.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
