you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
accomplished twins. life is a go
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the liver wants what the liver wants
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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