tell your sister to shave her snatch
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize