Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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