It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You made out with two different species that night
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
