i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
