I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My dick has a subreddit
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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