ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
