he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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