Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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