Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
