You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
