The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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