I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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